近況報告とか

1年9ヶ月ぶりですか？

お久しぶりです。

このブログをほったらかしにしていた理由とでもいいますか、統合失調症の予後が良くて私生活も忙しくなってカクカクシカジカ。。

てな感じで、近況報告でもしたいと思います。

発症から実に2年半以上経っているのですが、特に大きな問題もなく再発もせずに日々淡々と過ごしております。大学に通いながら週3でバイトもしております。

ただなんていうかな、薬の影響なのかわかんないけど、ぼーっと生きてる感じは否めず。

テンションが下がって落ち込んだり怒ったりすることが無い分、心の底から喜んだり笑ったりすることも無いような、そんな気分です。（わかる？）

発症前がドパミン出過ぎてただけですかね。なんていいましょう、どことなく人生がちっぽけなものになって、自分がつまらない人間になった気分です。

最近の悩みっていったらそんなことかな。

とりあえず、後悔しないように自分の好きを貫き通して生きていきたいですよね。

でもね、難しいんですよ、それが本当に。みんなに好かれようとして嫌われたくなくて自分を偽って大衆に染まって、、、嫌われてはいないけど結果として誰からも好かれていないんです。

自分を押し殺さずに、好きなものを好きと言える、そんな人になりたいですね。。

表現するのが難しいです。こんな締め方でいいのかな笑

ではまた！！

It was benign☺

  As you can see in the title, my tumor was benign!  I am very relieved.  If it had not been benign, I would be panicking and I couldn't go to school.

  I'm sorry but I don't have anything that I have to write about anymore.  I just wanted to let you know the results.  Sorry for the short sentences.

BYE

I had a surgery

  The other day, I had leg surgery because I found a tumor in my right leg and I thought it was getting bigger.  Then I went to the hospital and saw a doctor.  The doctors said they had no idea if the tumor was benign or not until they cut it and inspect them.  So I decided to have surgery. 

  It was nothing but just painful.  The injection of anesthesia made me feel so painful and nervous.  Though it passed three days I can't still walk fast.  And the result was not clear.  I mean we couldn't get to know if the tumor was benign or not immediately.  The doctor told me that it takes two weeks to know the results.  I am so anxious now.  If it isn't benign, I may not be able to go to school :(

  I'll try to write articles if I get new information about it.

Anyway, Bye✋

What do I do to improve my English skills?

  Although I told you in the other article before, I am writing articles and diaries in English to improve my English writing skill.  And today, I'll show you what I do to make my English better besides them. 

  First, I try to learn new words with the English-English dictionary that I bought recently.  In the dictionary, English words are explained in English sentences, so I can think and memorize only in English. 

  Second, I use a book called 発信型英語 類語使い分けマップ.  In this book, words that have almost the same meanings are put together.  Using this book, you can remember many words at once easily.

  Third, I imitate English sentences using and listening to the CD with the book, 決定版英語 シャドーイング超入門.  It definitely helps you because you can learn how a native speaker speaks English with the CD.  I mean you can master intonation and which words to emphasize.

  Fourth, I try to listen to English videos on Youtube.  Sometimes I watch dramas or movies overseas.  By doing this, I was able to catch what natives said more than before.  And you can learn English enjoying this way!

  And the last, I write down new words I learned through the above English study.  Every time I come across a new word, I try to check them out because I forget them soon if I don't write them down.

  That's it.  Thank you for reading!  Bye✋

The movie "A.I."

(☆This article includes spoilers, so come back again after watching "A.I." if you care about spoilers.)

  The other day, I watched A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) the movie and I was extremely moved, so I'll tell you about that.

  First, Gigolo Joe played by Jude Law was a so cool and kind guy.  His beauty made him seem to be just like a real robot.  And a protagonist boy, David played well in the movie I think.  His moving, like sometimes stopping a moment, was exactly like a robot.  And I must never forget to mention Teddy.  He was a really cute and helpfull character.  He had his mother's hair for 2000 years, and thanks to that, the creatures like alien could raise the dead mother.

  Throughout the whole, this movie was so nice and I cried at the last scene that David could spend with his mother only for one day.  You should see it!  Trust me.

Bye✋

Why am I writing articles only in English?

  Since one day, I suddenly came to write articles only in English.  Some people may think WHY?  I will answer the question today.

  The answer is simple.  It's to improve my English skills.  I was debating if I should have made an article on this topic because there were not so many things I would say, but I did 'cause I have a spare time now haha.

  There are a lot of good points in writing only in English.  First, I can get to know words or how to say that I didn't know by looking up a dictionary.  Second, by keeping on writing in English, I can come up with what I want to say one after another.  I came to be able to come to mind English sooner than before.  I'm feeling the progress.  

  Yeah, feeling the progress is important.  It's gonna be my motivation.  If you are also studying any language, I'll recommend writing articles only in the language.

Bye-Bye!!

PASSED THE ENTRANCE EXAM!!

  Weeee!!  As you can see from the title, I could pass the entrance exam!  It means I don't have to spend one more year studying for entering college (That's called something 浪人 in Japanese).   I would withhold the name of the college, but it is kind of a private college, and I am supposed to attend there for 4 years.  I chose the "English course" as a department, so I will study especially English, which is my favorite subject.  I like studying English, watching drama or movies overseas, and reading out loud in English.  I often do these things to improve my English skills.  Writing articles in English like this is also one of them.  I want to be able to have a command of English in the future even though it may take a long time.  

Bye♡